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Last night…

20 Dec

…something amazing happened.

Some homies were over (I’m lookin at you, Halls, Rubalah, Ira, Wullet, DGirl, Tierra Marie, Kesh, Skotch, and Belch) and at about 11 pm we realized there was at least one thing we could all agree on–we wanted cookies.

So, you can probably imagine the extreme joy and pleasure we experienced when about 30 minutes later a man appeared at the door with a box of warm, chewy cookies of assorted flavors. How’d it happen? Two words: Insomnia Cookies.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there is a genius among us. If at any point you find yourself questioning the intelligence or capabilities of the human race, just remember this: someone, somewhere, came up with this brilliant idea–late-night cookie delivery.

Insomnia cookies, which began at U Penn in 2003, is a cookie/brownie/milk delivery service that was designed to provide college students with an alternative to greasy pizza and Chinese food. Soon they branched out to 20+ campuses/locations. Not only is the concept brilliant, and the cookies cheap, but they were honestly among the best cookies I have EVER had. Ever.

So next time you have the cookie craving, just head over to http://www.insomniacookies.com/ and place your order online. You can choose from all different cookie/brownie flavors/toppings, and then you can even choose to pay cash or credit. It just does NOT get any better than that.

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Seamless Web

18 Dec

I wanted to share this because I worry that not enough people have discovered Seamless Web yet. It might just be the best thing that ever happened to me–at least since the surgery.

Basically it’s a website where you place food orders for delivery. It’s great, and I don’t have anything else to say about it.

Is there ANYTHING iller than a Pop Tart?!

16 Dec

The question came to me while I was getting an image for my Lybo Shybo post… and I’m wondering, honestly, is there anything iller than a PopTart?

Might I ALSO add that I just discovered that there is a Pop Tarts WORLD in Midtown NYC. WHO KNEW?! They sell clothes and accessories, and there’s a cafe within that has an extensive menu which includes items such as Pop Tart Sandwiches and Pop Tart Sushi (?!). Alls I can say is I know exactly where I’m going as soon as I can walk again.

Anyways, I think that this video and song do an excellent job of summing up the way I feel. Pop Tarts got it AWL, and this kid knows where it’s AT.

How to Make Anything Taste Good

15 Dec

Friends and foes alike, I am here today to talk to you about a little secret ingredient I discovered about two years ago. It’s unique, it’s rare, it’s delicious. It’s White Truffle Oil.

Why do I like truffle oil? Because it tastes good. And it makes me feel fancy. It’s a pinky up kind of food and who doesn’t like to put their pinky up? Listen. Invest in a bottle of Truffle Oil. In fact, don’t even leave home to do it–you’re too fancy for that. Click here to have it delivered to your door. Sure, it’s expensive. But it will last for years–you really only need a single drop at a time. When it arrives, scramble up some eggs and put a drop of your new White Truffle Oil in.

Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel fancy.

Neighborhood trEATS

14 Dec

Holla @ the pun.

…SINCE birth, I have lived within the same 2 block radius right here on the UWS du NYC. Therefore, I can say with the utmost confidence that I am a connoisseur of the foodstuffs in these parts. On this fine early winters eve, I will let you in on the neighborhoods best kept secrets (lucky you, bebz)…

HOT CHOCOLATE:

For the best hot cocoa in the hood, or maybe even in the world, hit up Nonna Restaurant on 85th Street and Columbus Avenue. It’s really ridiculous. If you remember when Starbucks was serving up “Chanticos”, then you can get a sense of what Nonna’s hot chocolate is like. It’s essentially melted chocolate in a cup. It will blow your mind. If you’re there for brunch, I also recommend the apple pancake (it’s not normal- that’s all I can say about it) or if it’s lunch/dinner, get the seasoned fries with your order. Dope.

BAGEL:

Up on Broadway between 90th and 91st is Tal Bagels, easily my favorite spot in the area. I’ve probably had 1000+ everything bagels with scallion cream cheese in my life and I don’t regret a single bite. Their bagels (every single one fluffy, delicious, spectacular, water-cooked) are divine, I’d say. I’d also recommend a cinnamon raisin bagel with raisin walnut cream cheese, or–if you’re feeling really wild–a blueberry muffin toasted with butter. De-lish. Don’t bother with the iced coffee, though. It’s really crap. Instead…:

ICED COFFEE:

This place is KIND OF crappy, and it’s always a struggle trying to convince my friends to come with me because they claim it smells in there (‘cept a select few- Ali, Kotcher, & others, u.k.w.u.r. <–zomg holla-in’ @chu middle school!! & EVERYTHING COMES FULL CIRCLE UP IN THIS BITCH)… BUT, on the real side, Columbus Cafe has the best cheap iced coffee (ice coffee?) in the neighborhood. It hits the spot. Get it with 2 sugars. Also, try a marble crunch muffin–my personal fave. Mmyeah brah.

PIZZA:
I refuse to put a picture up of pizza. Pizza is the least-photogenic of foods and if I were to put up a picture you might scroll right on past without giving this section a chance. As I’ve mentioned before, Pizza Pete’s is ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. Go to Columbus between 85th and 86th, and–I don’t care where you’ve been, what you know, or who your daddy is–get a plain slice.

MARGARITA:

The finest frozen margaritas on the UWS can be found on 83rd and Columbus at Cilantro. They have great dinners, too, and the nachos are damn good, son.

RICE & BEANS

Home a la rice & beans is Flor de Mayo. They also have great sweet plantains. There’s not much else to say about this place…

PAD THAI

I guess it’s pretty hard to go wrong with pad thai, but my favorite pad thai that’s close to home is at Land Thai Kitchen on Amsterdam between 81st and 82nd. The vegetable dumplings are a must, as well, and the thai iced-coffee is ridic. The restaurant is a tiny hole-in-the-wall and definitely worth a visit.

PANINI:

Soup Stop, a branch of it’s neighbor, Jackson Hole, is a tiny little lunch spot with all kinds of good thangs. There are salads, sandwiches, soups (of course) and, most notably (in my opinion), panini’s. The most spectacular panini is the “Mimi Panini” which has tomato, mozzarella and pesto between two toasted-to-perfection pieces of crispy and delicious focaccia bread. STRAIGHT crack. Also the woman who’s always working there/runs the place is one of the nicest around. I’m a huge fan.

JEW FOOD

The beloved, infamous, and delicious neighborhood spot for Jew food is, of course, Barney Greengrass. What you should get here is, depending on the time of day/your mood, either blintzes, matzoh ball soup or a bagel with shmear. Ridiculously delicious, and a neighborhood classic.

VEGAN FOOD:

I had never really tried vegan food until a few of my band mates started working at Peace Food Cafe on 82nd and Amsterdam. Not only is vegan food incredible, but Peace Food is the pinnacle of that incredibility. It’s so delicious. I highly recommend the roasted pumpkin sandwich, or the seitan medallion. You also shouldn’t even go if you don’t plan on ordering the dumplings which are among the most delicious I’ve ever had. To be honest, though, everything on the menu is ridiculously good and the atmosphere is great. I love this spot.

FANCY DINNER:

The best fancy dinner in the ‘hood is Calle Ocho. It’s so GOD DAMN GOOD. Everything about it. It’s got a cool bar thing in the front and then a huge dining room in the back. Rumor has it that it was a furniture store before it was Calle Ocho. It’s so so so so SO good. They bring out a basket of little rolls and a black-bean paste/spread-type thing when you first get there and it’s delicious. The plantains are great, too. But what is SO amazing is the infused sangria. The white wine/banana one is the best-refreshing, delicious, incredible.

ICE WATER:

K, I don’t care if you think this is weird. Gabriela’s on 93rd and Columbus has the best effing ice in the known universe. The food? It’s aite. But the ice.. Oh, the ice! It’s crumbly, crunchy, crushed to perfection. “It’s practically chewed for you already.” –Ariel Gordon

BEST RESTAURANT EVER:

SIP NYC is my favorite restaurant of all time. It’s real, authentic New York place up by Columbia University on 111th and Amsterdam. It’s SO GOOD!!! Order Eggs Rioja OR the French Toast (it’s kinda like a muffin filled with cream cheese… I know that sounds really odd but you’ll have to take my word for it), and no matter WHAT YOU DO you MUST get the billionaires bacon. IT’S THE BEST TASTING THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD. The End.